Tonight i was captive to a reality. Is it alive or is it all make believe. Is it simple or is it complex, am i a slave?

What if?

Am i simply shackled by the litmus test of life in an attempt to “test my metal”? Am i in control? Do i see what i think i see and use it how i think i do?

What if?

“Can we pretend that airplanes are in the night skies like shooting stars, cause i could really use a wish right now”. I heard it so many times yet its a whole new meaning when its 4am in the morning and you’re sweating in the AC heart racing eyes fatigued only to realize, it wasnt real?

I know i felt it, and so if my mind can play tricks on me why cant she? What happens when i open my eyes one day and she isn’t there anymore? Would that be real? I felt it, i know i did.

Still none of my dreams ever came through. Not the happy, not the sad, not the evil, not the good. Almost an hour has passed and i still feel it like ive never felt it. Its not the first of its kind, maybe it wont be the last yet i dare say: There is no devil too great neither is there a demon too big, i will no longer have my world taken apart in my head.

And still i wonder, if its all a hallucination would i color your skin the same? would i picture your face the same? would you have the same features? the same flaws? if the universe in my head has never been real, then you are the perfect hallucination.